Loneliness vs. Solitude: How to Find Joy in Being Alone

How I Embrace Solitude (Without Feeling Guilty)

1. I See It as Self-Care, Not Selfishness
Spending time alone doesn’t mean I love my partner—or my friends—any less. It means I value my own company enough to nourish it. When I make space for myself, I actually show up more fully for the people I care about.

2. I Celebrate Solo Moments
Instead of rushing through errands or appointments alone, I try to romanticize them. Grabbing lunch by myself? I pick a spot with a sunny patio. Running errands solo? I turn it into a mini adventure with a podcast and a coffee stop.
Solitude can feel luxurious when you stop treating it like a second-best option.

3. I Let It Be Simple
Solitude doesn’t have to be dramatic or involve a big retreat. Sometimes it’s just turning off my phone, lighting a candle, and sitting quietly for 10 minutes. Sometimes it's choosing to spend an afternoon doing exactly what I want, without consulting anyone else.
Small, mindful choices are where the magic is.

Shifting Your Mindset: From Loneliness to Empowerment

Loneliness vs. Solitude: How to Find Joy in Being Alone

Growing up, I always thought being alone was something to avoid—something sad, or even a little embarrassing.
Now, in my 30s and happily married, I’ve realized how essential it is to sometimes step away from the noise and simply be with yourself.
You don’t have to be single to appreciate solitude. In fact, carving out intentional time to be alone has helped me show up as a better, more grounded version of myself—not just for me, but for my relationship too.

Loneliness vs. Solitude: What’s the Difference?

Loneliness is feeling isolated, disconnected, or unseen—even when you’re surrounded by people. It’s often rooted in a longing for something outside yourself to fill a gap inside.

Solitude, on the other hand, is a chosen experience. It’s intentionally creating quiet moments where you can tune out the world and tune into yourself. Solitude says: “I am enough for myself, right here, right now.”
And that shift? It’s powerful.

How I Used to See Being Alone (And How That Changed)

I’ll be honest: I used to think eating alone at a restaurant was one of the saddest things someone could do.
I would look at someone sitting solo at a table and feel a pang of secondhand embarrassment, wondering if they were lonely or if someone had stood them up. But now? I see it completely differently.

I have so much admiration for people who travel solo, who sit confidently at a café with a book, or who take themselves out to dinner without hesitation. Today, when I see someone enjoying a meal alone, I see confidence. I see someone who’s comfortable in their own company. Someone who doesn’t need an audience to validate their experience.
And even more importantly—I’ve become that person too.

Even though I'm not technically "alone"—I share my life with someone I love deeply—I still prioritize moments of solitude. Because it's not about escaping anyone. It's about coming home to myself.
Whether it’s taking a walk alone, wandering through a bookstore, journaling in a quiet corner, or even just sipping coffee without any distractions—those small moments recharge me in ways nothing else can.

Why Solitude Matters Even in a Happy Life

Choosing solitude reminds me that I am a whole person on my own.
It teaches me to listen to myself more carefully, dream a little bigger, and nurture parts of me that are easy to overlook in the busyness of shared life.

And honestly, it deepens my relationships too. When you know yourself—your needs, your emotions, your dreams—you can communicate better, love deeper, and appreciate the people around you even more.

Final Thoughts

Solitude isn’t about pushing people away—it’s about coming closer to yourself.
It’s about honoring your own inner world, so that when you connect with others, it’s from a place of wholeness rather than emptiness.

Whether you're traveling solo, treating yourself to lunch alone, or simply sitting quietly with your own thoughts, remember: there is strength, beauty, and joy in choosing to be with yourself.

You are already complete—and sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is to spend time with the person you’ve been with all along: you.

If you’ve grown up thinking that being alone is something to fear or fix, you're not alone. But the truth is: learning to love your own company is one of the most liberating things you can do.

Here’s how I made that shift:

• Change the story: Instead of telling myself, "I’m alone because no one is available," I started thinking, "I’m choosing to spend time with myself, because I deserve my own attention."

• Find pride in independence: Every time I traveled solo, dined alone, or spent an afternoon lost in my own thoughts, I built more trust in myself. I realized I didn’t need constant company to feel complete.

• Practice gratitude: Rather than focusing on the absence of others, I focused on the presence of myself—my dreams, my thoughts, my growth.

When you start viewing solitude as a gift rather than a punishment, you begin to see just how powerful and full your life already is.